


PolyHermit Headcanons

by JSparks



Series: Polyhermit Universe [1]
Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Sex, Double Penetration, F/F, F/M, Femdom, I'm going to hell might as well have fun on the way, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Pegging, Polyhermits - Freeform, Slight fluff, Smut, Smut and Fluff, Threesome - M/M/M, grian is a hoe and no one can tell me otherwise, iskall is adorable shut up, listen fam, there are not enough things in polyhermits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:13:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24094891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JSparks/pseuds/JSparks
Summary: COMPLETESome headcanons from my favorite hermits, sorry if someone isn't included I don't watch everyone.Rule 34: if it exists, there is porn of it. If not, there will be.I don't ship real people just the internet personas, it's whatever I'm going to hell might as well have fun on my way down.(Inspired by a hermitcraft headcanon work written by @sprucewoodbutton)
Relationships: Charles | Grian & John | BdoubleO100, Charles | Grian & Steffen Mossner | Docm77, Charles | Grian/GoodTimesWithScar, GoodTimesWithScar/Viktor | Iskall85 (Video Blogging RPF), Oliver Brotherhood/Steffen Mossner | Docm77, Zombiecleo/Grian, polyhermits
Series: Polyhermit Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1744825
Comments: 30
Kudos: 250





	1. PolyHermit Headcanons

  * I'm not saying that Grian breaks the rules to get punished all the time because he's a masochist, but Grian definitely breaks the rules to get punished all the time because he's a masochist. Grian is constantly pulling pranks and getting into trouble. 



  * Scar is the most sensitive of the bunch, he's the mediator and cannot stand the constant conflict. He has the most outlandish kinks and keeps most of them to himself until Doc or Mumbo come around and ask when was the last time, then he finally breaks and lets them take him to bed. 



  * I read a story about Scar having a wax kink and I haven't gotten over it since. Doc knows and does it with him at least once a week, though Scar will never admit it he looks forward to Tuesdays. 



  * Mumbo is the dad, he's ready to lay down the law at all times but is totally a pushover and will let Grian do whatever he wants until Doc finds out. Then he'll finally get all mad at Grian for breaking Sahara, again, for the 4th time this week.



  * Mumbo has a thing for oral fixation. 



  * Impulse might seem to be the most level headed but he is the most easily persuaded. Grian can sweet talk him into fixing things before Doc comes and realizes Grian has broken something... again.



  * False has made some serious bank selling sex products and getting bribes from Grian to tell him what Mumbo has been buying in recent weeks. Mumbo isn't buying anything when he comes into False's shop, he's just messing with Grian and gossiping to Stress about Ren's neck bruises 



  * Cleo and Doc are the tops of the group, the most caring but can definitely leave either Scar or Grian with an extremely obvious limp. Doc seems like an extremely authoritarian top who doesn't take shit, but he is a lot more lighthearted than people thing. He includes himself in a handful of Impulses' pranks on Mumbo or Scar. 



  * Doc is either so focused he can't think about anything else or has someone in his bedroom at all times. He's possibly the roughest but the best hands to wake up in or at least that's what Ren says. 



  * Iskall is the king of aftercare, the first up and cooking after a long night, and the first to get the painkillers. He finds himself in the middle of everyone's shenanigans and just joins in the fun. 



  * Iskall and Xisuma are the true neutrals, down for everything but have limits. 



  * Xisuma can get annoyed quickly with Ren or Grian in a joking way, but it's like sometimes a switch flips and he's a freak in the bed. Those who don't believe he's a top will find out soon that's for sure. 



  * False, Stress, and Cleo have a girls' night. They invite Grian, Iskall, and Ren in for a night peg them all until the sun comes up. Iskall comes over in the morning to cook and distribute the Advil. 



  * Cleo is probably the only person who can keep up with Grian's drive, he can go for hours without a fail and has the shortest refraction period ever. 



  * Ren had a subtle competition with Grian and Iskall has to who can mess with Mumbo until he either takes them then and there or runs off to find Tango or Cleo. once The three of them realize what Grian and Ren have been doing, as a joke, they say no sex for a week and Grian about loses his mind. 



  * Doc and Cleo constantly joke about who bottoms if they were to have sex, it's a mystery among everyone about who does but we all know Doc bottoms.



  * No nut November is a running joke among the hermits, everyone picks a side, the angels and demons. The demons try to get the angels to lose without laying a hand on them, while the angels resist. The demon's really don't get anything out of it besides watching the angels squirm.



  * The last angel standing gets 6 stacks of diamonds and 100% bragging rights. 



  * Grian has never won. 



  * Cleo won 2 years ago and Scar last year. 



* * *

**Tops**

Cub 

Doc

Tango 

Xisuma

Cleo 

**Switch (top leaning)**

False

Impulse 

Mumbo

Keralis 

**Switches (bottom leaning)**

Bdubs

Iskall 

Stress 

**Bottoms**

Grian 

Scar 

Ren

* * *

**Most likely:**

To become a magician - Scar

To become Hollywood Famous - Grian or Keralis 

To have more than 10 children - Ren 

To get kicked out of the Cinema for having sex - Grian 

To live the longest - Cub or False 

To die without having kids - Cleo 

To die first - Ren or Keralis 

* * *

Zodiac Signs (sun then rising*) 

**Mumbo** Leo Pisces 

**Ren** Libra Libra

 **Stress** Gemini 

**Scar** Virgo Cancer 

**Iskall** Pisces Cancer 

**Xisuma** Aries Libra 

**Bdubs** Sagittarius Sagittarius 

**Keralis** Cancer Aquarius 

**Doc** Scorpio 

**Grian** Taurus 

**Cleo** Aries Capricorn 

*If you don't know anything about zodiac signs, the sun is the overall personality sign and the rising sign is the inner personality. Don't take anything too serious these are just jokes. ) 


	2. Mumbo Headcanons

  * Mumbo spends so much time with Scar, Scar's art lingers around his base, and Mumbo's clothes linger around Scar's wardrobe. 



  * Scar has a thing for wax and Mumbo has a thing for the noises that Scar makes. Small breathy moans will make Mumbo practically sink into the floor.



  * Scar couldn't do a bad deed to save his life so whenever he wants to be punished he asks Mumbo politely. 



  * Mumbo absolutely loves talking to Stress and Cleo. They meet on Sundays and talk about the week they've had, new projects they are working on, and who is up to what. 



  * Iskall and Mumbo always wake up first and have a 'playful' (more like downright brawl) over who can start cooking for the group. But it always ends in Iskall cooking and Mumbo giving racehorse commentary. 



  * He doesn't have a gag reflex. 



  * Doc, Cub, Xisuma, and Tango claim that their legs have given out at least once with him.



  * He's unbelievably humble about it. 



  * Impulse might think he is the biggest ladies man but he has absolutely nothing on Mr. Jumbo, all the girls on the server will say he's the best at oral. but Mumbo will never admit it to everyone. 



  * Poor Grian, he thinks that Mumbo is oblivious to all of his tricks but he knows and just lets him play his pranks. 



  * One time Ren and Grian had a competition to see who could mess with him the most. It started with Grian putting a weird item in his sorting system. Then Ren named all his villager's weird names and gave them Mumbo heads. Grian gave him an entire set of leather clothes with curse of binding. 



  * Rest in Peace Ren's and Grian's knees because they were on them for a while. 




	3. Doc Headcanons

  * Doc is the kind of top to not let anyone else leave until he has given them a warm meal and some type of gift. 



  * Aftercare is essential. 



  * Sometimes it's hard for him to care about himself in some situations. Cleo and Stress remind him every time he comes to the shop that he needs to get some sleep or drink some water. 



  * Doc is the top that I aspire to be 



  * Doc absolutely lost it on Keralis and Bdubs when they messed with his Goat. 



  * No one touches a man's goat.



  * Keralis and Bdubs were messing for several days, who knows where the 3 of them went. But if you even mention it Bdubs knees buckle and Keralis toes curl into the floor.



  * Doc raves on and on about Scar. He is an absolute joy to go to bed with because everything is soft and so sweet. Sometimes it's fun to not worry about anything.



  * Even if his time with Scar doesn't end in sex he cares about him so much. 



  * Doc and Cleo get each other on another level, sometimes it's hard to say in words what one needs but they just know. 



  * Cleo just gets him. 



  * She will sometimes stop by the base whenever Doc is struggling to finish some project, make him stop, bring him food and make sure he sleeps 8 hours.



  * Cuddling is the way to Docs heart, that and rough sex.



  * Is either way to precious for this world or fucking someone into the floor and there is no inbetween. 



  * Doc can lay pipe if he feels like it and has no shame.




	4. Drabbles

  * Grian is 5'6 and I haven't gotten over it okay 
  * Easy to bend in half or at least that's what Impulse and Doc say. 
  * Iskall's laugh is so contagious, the little squeak at the end just makes your heart melt. It's adorable when you know he found something so funny that his character stops moving.
  * You just stare at the screen smiling like an idiot listening to Iskall laugh for a minute and a half. 
  * Scar's voice is so soothing and smooth.
  * Mumbo is a 6'5 spoon, he looks like could beat up everyone in a fight but is so adorable he couldn't hurt a fly.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I doubt anyone is going to read this, but I can't get this out of my head.   
> In mumbos video about playing Minecraft earth early Grian was in it and at around the 9:11 mark he is looking at a build in the grass.  
> TELL ME WHY Grian is throwing it back my a pro?!
> 
> This was uncalled for, but I needed to tell someone.


	5. More smutty Headcanons

  * Don't think about Cleo and Doc opening up a store that is secretly a front for a glory hole business. 



  * Don't think about Ren, Bdubs, Grian and Stress working the stalls nightly. 



  * Don't think about Grian on his knees sucking someone off with his hand in pants, moaning and deep throating. 



  * Iskall can sometimes be pretty kinky. 



  * He comes up with an idea for a scene, Cleo Stress and False are so down. 



  * A game show with questions about various subjects. Each contestant will have clamps attached to they're nipples and when they get a question wrong the string connection to the clamps will be raised. 



  * Lighting round: easy math questions, but when they answer incorrectly its a quick and harsh pull on the clamps. 



  * Bdubs loves beds, so Impulse decides that beds are overrated and fucks up in almost every place that isn't a bed. 



  * Grian definitely steals clothes from the other hermits, he's the type to hand around in an oversized sweater that belonged to Doc or Impulse and a pair of boxers.



  * They're is a group chat for all of the hermits, nothing is even remotely flirty unless it's a Sunday. That is the destinated day for videos and nudes.



  * Ren is an exhibitionist.
  * (It's much easier for me to just post small chapters because I'm pretty busy with school. Thanks everyone for almost 100 Kudos ❤️) 




End file.
